How To Avert A Civil War

Some Reflections on the Eve of the 2020 US Election

I often wonder what the spirit in our country felt like in the years leading up to America’s Civil War. Did it feel like this; the way we feel toward one another today?

Cavernous divisions existed between family and friends around the issue of slavery, and bridges across these chasms were few and far between. Americans were taking up arms against one another even before the first shot was fired at Fort Sumter. Abolitionists attacked and killed slave holders while pro-slavery Americans instigated a reign of terror against slaves and those promoting a ban on slavery. America was a steaming pot of hatred in the 1850s and it boiled over in 1861 and after it was finished, 750,000 Americans lay a-mouldering in the grave.

Does the quality of our hatred today feel like it did back then; like there’s no way forward but to take up arms against each other? Are we just another incarnation of nineteenth century slavers and abolitionists?

Some will imagine I’ve just likened them to pro-slavery confederates by asking this question. And historians will complain that I’ve fabulously over-simplified matters. While I’m very likely guilty of the latter, I’m not trying to draw a straight line between the warring parties of 1860 and those of 2020, though I suspect there’s some kind of 160 year old infection which never completely healed. The substance of the first civil war isn’t present but its shadow can be seen. The real question is whether the moralized hatred in 1860 is of the same quality as today’s hatred. And more sobering still, does it have the potential to implode in the days following November 3rd?

My social media feed and news sources suggest we can’t stand one another. We have no earthly idea how anyone in their right mind could support the utter nonsense being endorsed by “them.” Are they serious? How can they support that person, that party, that dangerous ideology and still claim that they love this country. How can they possibly occupy the church pew next to me or the same Thanksgiving table?

The deep divisions of the 1850s were placed into ballot boxes on November 6, 1860, catalyzing the bloodbath that became known as America’s Civil War.

None of us wants civil war. I doubt anyone wanted it then. War is the lazy person’s answer to difference. And yet I worry that our imaginations have grown stagnant as we try to come together across today’s divisions. We seem so very far apart. Race and ethnicity. Law and order. Immigration and borders. Managing our economy. Dealing with a pandemic. The makeup of the Supreme Court. To say nothing of guns, energy policies, the environment, and our relationship with allies and enemies overseas.

This is not to suggest these matters are trivial. Resolving them without violence, no matter who wins this election, will necessitate painful compromise, radical change, supernatural humility and complicated nuance. Mostly it will require those whose candidate(s) lost, and those whose candidate(s) won, to rise above our headlong flight to some sort of national divorce… or worse.

The Winners

It may take time for the smoke to clear before we know who won the 2020 election. But when the final note is sounded in this vitriolic battle, I have some advice for the “winners”:

Empathy: Many who did not vote for your candidate are depressed and uncertain about the future. It could have easily been you in that position. It’s on you to be magnanimous. Show some empathy. Resist the temptation to gloat. Embrace humility. Ask those who did not support your party or candidate about their fears, their sorrows, their vision for flourishing. Then acknowledge their pain without dismissing their concerns.

Check the Margins: There are certain voices your candidate is tone deaf to. Margins they don’t see clearly. Power and authority exist to protect the vulnerable and include those who’ve been left out. Certain populations are marginalized and excluded by your candidate. Build relationship with those margins and listen to their cries. It is on you to allow them to feel heard by at least one supporter of your candidate and consider the possibility that the vision you support has blind spots.

Admonish the Bullies: There are people in the “winners” camp who love to ridicule and lampoon the other side. You’ve seen their posts and maybe even laughed at their mockery. Now some feel newly empowered to eviscerate their rivals. You need to call them out. Respond to their posts and their derisive humor with things like, “this does not serve the healing of our divisions.” You might feel like a traitor by taking them to task, but the bullies in your camp are exacerbating our alienation. Challenge them to become the best version of your shared ideals.

The Losers

I also have a word to those whose candidate(s) lost the election. You have an even bigger role in keeping us from lighting the fuse for another civil war:

Lament: It’s appropriate to mourn the loss you are feeling. Assigning blame can come later, if it needs to come at all. Own your sadness and lament your loss. You were invested in this election, and before calculating the next move for your tribe, you ought to simply hold the sadness and grief. If you believe in God, this is a good time to invite God’s presence into your pain. Our Creator draws near to the brokenhearted.

Find Agreement: Admit it. You’re not oblivious to the flat sides of your candidate or party. And you know the other party likely has a few things right. A healthy critique of those you supported and acknowledging some positives of the other is a good exercise. It doesn’t mean resigning the issues of justice you hold dear, just that the dichotomies may not be so neatly categorized as pure evil vs. pure good. The moral arc of the universe will eventually bend toward justice, especially as it concerns the vulnerable and the oppressed. Your internal work in this season is to root out pride and to seek the peace of a nation which possesses different ideologies.

Deescalate: Some in your camp are ready to burn the house down. A few have been readying themselves for violence in anticipation of this hour. They will launch a propaganda campaign designed to sweep others into their rage. This is the time for your peacemaking skills to deescalate matters. Do peacefully protest the outcome of this election. But keep an eye out for those bent on fomenting violence. You identify with their discontent, so you are well positioned to speak a word of peace and reason into the bloodlust that is near the surface in all of us.

We are bigger than the issues that divide us. The primal impulses toward violence are as old as Cain and Able. Truth and justice do not need your rage or your violence to prove them worthy. Mercy, peace and love are the greatest weapons you wield. Let’s all take a deep breath and look for a way forward which does not include annihilating those with whom we disagree.

POSTSCRIPT: A call for peace is the luxury of those not experiencing oppression. I realize my appeal comes from a position of privilege. Nonetheless, I believe the path out of oppression does not pass through the way of violence.