A World Without Patriarchy

Imagine the end of patriarchy.

As a white, heterosexual male in his fifties, I’m one of the most privileged people on the planet. The only way I could gain more status is by becoming 4 inches taller. Still, I find it important for me to picture a world without patriarchy.

I realize I don’t understand in any direct sense what women in a patriarchal society experience. I catch glimpses from my wife, my daughters and female friends and colleagues. But it’s important for me to imagine what life would be like without patriarchy.

Can I conceive of a world where people are paid similar wages for similar work, regardless of their chromosome pairing?

A world where a woman can walk across a dark parking lot without her first thought being about safety?

A world where she can dress how she likes without needing to consider how it might get misconstrued by men? Or pack a suitcase for a work trip without needing to think about how her authority will be impacted because “business casual” for him is way more casual than “business casual” for her.

A world where a woman can take initiative without being considered bossy, or pose a question without having her mental bandwidth taken up by calculating whether the comment will be heard, or taken seriously or judged with a different measuring stick than a man using the very same words?

Can I picture a world where my wife and daughters are never looked at “in that way” by a man; you know – that “way” which they despise being looked at yet see it on his face even if he thinks they don’t?

I get that a world without patriarchy will affect me. I’m at the top of the food chain. How can a serious re-ordering of economics and opportunities not impact my economics and opportunities? But the end of patriarchy will also have benefits for men like me. I’ll benefit from more wisdom being shared, more gifted leaders in real leadership positions, and greater diversity in the policies and practices of running our world. But I also won’t get asked to speak as much or get to conduct wedding ceremonies as much. Competition for leadership positions will be higher. My comments and ideas will get scrutinized and challenged by women empowered to shoot them down because they don’t have that internal and external patriarchal muzzle covering their mouths.

I hope I look back on this blog in 10 years and cringe just a little because of some of my blindness and ignorance as a guy blogging about patriarchy. It means that I’m still growing in this area. But I am convinced that patriarchy is a curse. Even if imagining a world without patriarchy doesn’t create a it, I am increasing my desire for it.

And just possibly I’ll get a little closer to ending patriarchy in myself.