On the Virtues of Pipe Smoking

Let me start by saying that I am aware that pipe smoking, even for those who, like me, don’t inhale, still increases ones risk of lip, tongue and throat cancer. OK, now that this is out of the way we can proceed. If you want to come at me about putting stuff in your body that is unhealthy or that supports an unjust industry, then let’s talk about sugar, or chocolate. Catch where I’m going with that? I don’t think we want to go there.

Onto some better health news. A US Surgeon General report “Smoking and Health” (No. 1103, page 112) noted, “Death rates for current pipe smokers were little if at all higher than for non-smokers, even with men smoking 10 pipefuls per day and with men who had smoked pipes for more than 30 years.” On page 92 the report also stated that pipe smokers who inhale live as long as nonsmokers and pipe smokers that don’t inhale live longer than non-smokers.

Enough about physical health, let’s talk about pipe smoking and spiritual health. There must be some theological enzyme that one secretes in the process of smoking a pipe. Or perhaps it’s just that smoking a pipe requires one to stop doing anything else but focus on the pipe. You can’t do a lot of talking when you are caring for a lit pipe. It’s as if you are saying, “Enough already with all the words! We don’t need more words, we just need to ruminate on the words that are already out there.” You might tell me, “But Scott, one can shut up and ruminate without a pipe.” However, you discount the serious relaxation factor that comes with pipe tobacco. That feeling is not as strong or as immediate as it is with a cigarette or cigar. But that just makes it more meaningful. One must wait to slowly welcome relaxation, as if she is shy to enter the room at first. She wants to be sure you really are not going to say anything else. That you are committed to the rumination process. But once she is assured of this and enters, she points the pipe smoker to a deep theological well from which to drink.

I think that if Jesus had been born in one of the North American tribes, then passing the peace pipe would have been how he instituted the sacrament of communion. After all, Jesus was a tribal, first nations Palestinian man who used an ancient story and ceremony from his people’s past to commemorate the new covenant. Pipe smoking in native American communities has that beauty and meaning.

Enough word! I challenge you to stop reading this blog, find a comfortable spot, light a pipe, and reflect on all the things floating around in your head. See if it does not bring a semblance of order and meaning to what I’ve written.