The Lost Epistle of Martha
Embracing Rebuke
Martha of Bethany, servant of the Lord Jesus Christ as one who receives the dead back to life. To my brother, Lazarus. Grace and peace to you and to all who meet in your home.
My dear brother, not only in the flesh but in the Spirit, it was good of you to write and to send greetings from Mary and the believers that live in Bethany. The brothers and sisters with me in Alexandria, Egypt send greetings as does my companion in the gospel, John Mark.
I am troubled to hear of the need for correction in the church which meets in your home and of your reluctance in bringing a word of rebuke to some of the brothers and sisters. You know the Proverbs, “rebuke the wise and they will love you. Instruct the wise and they will be wiser still.” And you have seen with your own eyes the love with which our Lord Jesus rebuked his followers. In fact, he was so faithful at demonstrating the power of rebuke that some of us even dared to rebuke him!
The Incident at Bethany
You will recall one of the many times in which he came to our home accompanied by his followers. I had often kept a meal at the ready for unexpected visitors, but none of us were prepared for the large gathering that followed him into our home on that day, not even me. Fifty or more guests arrived, both men and women along with a large group of children. The home and our courtyard were filled to overflowing.
You are aware of just how “energetically” I tend to the household chores, lol. But this gathering was beyond anything I had experienced. Mary and two of the household servants had settled themselves next to the others at his feet as he began to teach. It was impossible for me to get her attention without interrupting the Rabbi. So, I went next door to our cousin Elizabeth’s house and she and her servants joined me in preparing raisin cakes and dried figs for a lunch that we would be expected to serve. With each moment that passed I became more and more upset at Mary and the other women of the household who had abandoned their duty and left all preparations to me. Had not the Lord himself often spoke of the greatness of serving? “The Son of Man,” he said, “did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.” Was I not taking after the Messiah in my preparations? And was not Mary acting as one of the Pharisees or teachers of the law, sitting and doing nothing but listening while the guests that overwhelmed our home were left without hospitality?
At one point a group of children ran from the courtyard and through the kitchen where me and Elizabeth were working. They upset a tray of cakes and tipped over one of the water jars. You recall how the Rabbi allowed the chaos of children to whirl about us 😊. But this was the sort of behavior even he would address, I was certain. Children wreaking chaos, the lack of servanthood in my sister, the need for generous hospitality – these were good and godly concerns. So I found my courage and interrupted the Teacher. Perhaps he would use this occasion to bring a teaching on servanthood by correcting my sister. I could imagine, as was often the case with him, he might simply stand up and begin serving, teaching by example and shaming Mary for her disrespect of our guests.
“Lord,” I said, forcing him to stop his teaching. He looked at me over the heads of all seated in the room. “Don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!” Of course, if I had ever really listened to his teachings I would have added your name to this demand as well, dear brother (lol).
I knew that it was bold to address the Savior like this. Some of our neighbors shifted uncomfortably at this rebuke of Jesus, you may recall. For me, a woman, to address a great Rabbi so directly, was an breach of propriety. And ordering him to tell our sister to help me was an anathema! But he had made so many of us women bold by the way in which he welcomed our voice. I was not afraid and was confident in my opinion and my demand.
A Gentle Rebuke
Do you remember what happened, next? Mary was mortified. She began to get up and urged the servant girls to do likewise, but Jesus motioned for them to sit back down. Then he got up from where he was seated and crossed the room. I knew in my heart that this was the moment he would take up the towel and basin and undertake an act of servanthood, like wash the feet of our guests, another chore Mary had been abandoned. But he simply came near and spoke my name.
“Martha.”
He looked at me with such compassion, maybe even sadness, and he said my name a second time.
“Martha.”
The room was so quiet, and he had that look he got when he was going to correct one of us who were dear to him. It occurred to me that I may have miscalculated. I am sure my face was as red as a sunset by now – half with anger at Mary and half with embarrassment at everyone watching.
He put a gentle hand to my elbow.
“You are worried and upset about many things,” he said, and for a moment I felt vindicated. He saw how upset I was. How burdened by all the work. Then he said, “But few things are needed – or indeed only one.” At this point I wondered which one task he might say was needed; preparing the cakes or washing the feet. But then he continued, “Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.”
It was as though Jesus was looking right into my inner being. He was not rebuking me for interrupting his teaching. He suffered many interruptions over our years together without concern. It was not that he was correcting my desire for serving our guests, this was good, even if it was not the better. It was the heart of selfishness he spoke of. In my obsession with service I was blind to the selfishness that lurked within. I was trying to take something from Mary. I wanted to take away her freedom to sit and learn at the Rabbi’s feet. Jesus wasn’t mad that I was fixated upon serving others over all else, even learning from him. This fixation with work has been a lifelong issue God has been working on, slowly and gently. It was that I wanted to take away from Mary the freedom of setting aside work for him. I was stealing her purity of heart and hunger to learn. Her joy in quietness and trust. “It will not be taken away from her,” he had said.
My instinct, of course, was to defend myself. “Jesus Christ,” I thought to myself (Remember how his name was not a swear word back then, lol?). “I was only doing what you had taught us to do – looking not only to my own needs but to the needs of others!” But I held my tongue.
I knew there was something about my desire to serve that was good. But I chose to let his words sink deeper. “Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.”
The Rabbi was calling me to become my true self. Calling forth the divine image inside me which would celebrate Mary’s freedom from the conventions of women serving while men learned. I was like the older brother in his parable of the prodigal son. “Few things are needed,” he said. Remember his teaching on how the entire law and the prophets could be summed up in just two things? Love God. Love neighbor.
In truth, I was neither loving God nor my neighbors in this frantic rushing about. My obsession with work was about me. It was about control. It was about being seen as the responsible one. Not about love.
I did not have the maturity to receive this correction right away. I left the room in a prideful huff.
Later that night, after everyone left, I was able to welcome this rebuke and to apologize to Mary and to Jesus. You know Mary, she threw her arms around me and kissed me, saying that of course she forgave me. Such a drama queen (lol). Jesus told me the raisin cakes were delicious, then he and Mary helped me clean up.
I learned to embrace rebuke that day. Something about the sharpness of a rebuke that enters deep into a person. I knew that his correction was not coming from a place of irritation or anger, but that Jesus longed for me to grow in wisdom and grace. I could eventually see that, after a few hours of fuming, even though in the moment I was upset and embarrassed. Jesus was hungrier for my maturity than my comfort or even the comfort of our guests.
Spiritual Maturity Over Comfort
And so, dear Lazarus, when you speak of the need for correction in the church which meets there in Bethany, I wonder if you have forgotten what Jesus taught us by his words and example. That we must long for one another’s maturity over our own comfort. The sting of a well-spoken rebuke is a doorway to growth. None of us is right in all we say or do. We need each other, as iron needs another piece of iron in order to be sharpened.
You know with what difficulty John Mark and I have begun to see the gospel come in Egypt. There is some need for correction here, but it is of a different sort than the correction given there among the Jewish believers. More than correction, the Gentiles require a basic teaching of the Way. Egyptian believers have no grounding in the ways of Yahweh. Idol worship is practiced from infancy, and it is all they know. We do not hold the same expectations of Gentiles that we do of Jewish believers. We do not correct them for eating food sacrificed to idols, for instance. Even our brother Paul teaches that this is not wrong among the Gentiles. We must translate the many forms of idol worship into the right worship of God. The Holy Spirit is teaching them from within their own perspectives, traditions and practices, writing the Law of God on their hearts.
When we do correct, it is not out of offence or irritation of their pagan mindset, but with an earnest heart to call forth the good we know resides in them. We must treat the Gentiles who are new to the faith with compassion, imploring them not to consider us gods and offer sacrifices to us when we heal the sick, or not to bury their dead with articles for the afterlife as if God will not meet every need of those who fall asleep in Christ.
You, my brother, have a different chore among the believers in Judea. With the Gentiles there is more need for teaching than correction, but among the faithful, correction is desperately needed. Do not be afraid to call out religious arrogance, or to correct those who do not love God and neighbor, or to remind the believers to share with any in need. These are things they have been taught from their youth and their lack of attention to these things needs to be corrected.
And guard your heart so that you do not bring correction from your own place of arrogance. I know how your resurrection from the dead has sometimes made you feel invincible or superior 😊. To correct out of a spirit of superiority or irritation will fall flat. Correct out of a true desire to see your brothers and sisters excel in their spiritual maturity. Love is the best motivation for correction. And do not think that since you are mature in the Lord that you, my brother, have no need of correction yourself. Correction, even from those who are younger or less mature, should be welcomed. For sometimes even a child knows the way of faith better than we who are old. Jesus taught us that we could not even enter the kingdom unless we became like a child.
Regret as a Sign of Growth
Finally, dear brother, teach the church there to accept regret. One who has no regret has stopped growing. Regret is simply a sign that you are learning. When Jesus first rebuked me and I put up a wall to reject his correction, I pushed regret away because I did not like the feeling. But when I let his words inside me, setting aside my defensiveness, I was able to accept regret. I was embarrassed at my pride being exposed. It is the sting of that rebuke and the regret that followed which has kept me vigilant. I am quicker to see my pride, to acknowledge its hold on me, and to turn from it.
Instruct the believers there to invite correction. Better to ask a trusted brother or sister how one might improve their character or ask whether a sin has been observed in them, than for it to be called out. And when correction comes, teach them to take rebuke seriously before dismissing it out of hand. Indeed, some rebuke may come tangled up with other things, but almost all rebuke from a friend reveals a sin which needs to be addressed.
I, Martha, your sister, write to you with the affection of a co-laborer in the gospel and a true “servant” 😊 of our Lord and of his Church.
He is risen!
P.S. And so are you – lol